So today as the boys were all playing in the living room I could smell something horrible! So I asked "who needs a diaper changed?" and Wiley replies "Probably Brayden or Carter or Kalem or Tyce." Yeah I'm thinking its time to potty train a few!

My girls are leaving tomorrow. I don't know what to feel. Today I took them to Amazing Jakes for their last day with us. Don't ask me why I thought spending $100 for them to run around playing games while I sat at a table eating would be good quality bonding time. Oh and Hi Amber since I know you are the only one who reads this.

I just want someone to talk to

I think that every mother must think her own children are the cutest in the world. I Find my self wanting to talk all the time about the silly little things they do all the time but I find no one really wants to hear about it. That's why I try to write about things in here so I don't have to tell everyone about it. But I have a hard time finding any time at all to sit down and write. Right now its 10:30 at night and I should be in bed. But on a more important note I don't want to talk about my kids anymore. I want to talk about being a foster parent. Sometimes I don't know what I am doing. I hate it. I don't like knowing if the kids are staying or going. I don't like my little ones getting hurt and learning about things they shouldn't know about. And I don't like the caseworkers and GALs and Therapists, and Bio family visits and transporters and licencing workers and attorneys and Court dates and CFTs and Placement meetings and all the other people and things you get with a foster child. Then I think about the fact that there are over 10,000 children in the foster system and most of them are in group homes. But I don't care anymore. I want to adopt and be done. I just can't help but feel like there are more children out there for me that are already born that are meant to be in my family. And I want them. I'm just not a patient person.

Birthday

It's my birthday today. Thank heavens for facebook friends because I actually felt very loved today getting all the birthday wishes on my wall. My next door neighbor brought over fresh bread and cake:) and the relief society presidency brought me over a card and bath salt that said you deserve a break. And I saw a movie with my dad and Curtis and then went out to eat with Curtis went to a nice park with all of the kids and ended up at my friend Meijas house talking about all her life storms. It was a pretty good day no complaints.

Caterpillars

Now I know you can't see them in the pictures but today the boys came in super excited because they found "Caterpillars" and Wiley kept saying "they are so cute mom!" Yeah they were maggots. Now I assure you we don't have maggots in our house, at least that is what I keep telling myself.

2:21 am

Its 2:21 am and why am I up do you ask? I don't know, that's a very good question because I am very tired. I wish that i had a portable computer because all day long I write in my head about what I want or need to say at that moment but by the time I get here its gone. I have no more need to express it and yet at the same time I wish I would have because its memories I would like to capture. Today I had an interview with one of the bishops councilors for a new temple recommend. I think the problem I have is that I want so bad to be perfect and I try so hard that sometimes I am unsure if I am really doing my best to do everything I can. I want to be honest in all my doings but am I really answering all the questions honestly because I over analyze things and I just want to make sure I am. I need to sleep its 2:29 now and it shouldn't take me 8 mins to write nothing.

I don't know why it has taken me forever to write again. Everyday I have something cute to say about the boys and yet I never take time to get on and write about it. Instead I spend time watching stupid movies on netflix and Hullu. So really fast cute things the boys have said. #1. We went to a picnic on Saturday and it was raining and freezing but that is besides the point it was super hero theme and guess what? Super man was there. That's right! Superman! Brayden was so excited. He kept staring at him with big round eyes and saying MOM Superman is here and then he walks up to him and asks "Super man can you fly?" Of course superman was off on the day of the picnic and for the rest of the day Wiley reminded me that superman was flying tomorrow. #2 Wiley was sitting at the table the other night coloring. I was doing something and had my back turned and I could here him saying to him self " eggs come from chickens, milk comes from cows, apple sauce comes from apples and bananas come from monkeys" It was quite funny. #3 okay I can't think of funny things right now because I need to go to bed but I think we are going to adopt Kalem. He has a new adoption worker that says he is not going anywhere. Of course that doesn't mean anything until it is finalized so we will see. Tomorrow we are going to Prescott Valley for a class to learn about Medically fragile so we can get a higher adoption rate. I am hoping I can get it back dated. I have to get up at 5am tomorrow and it is 11:41pm. I am tired and I just don't know why I am not going to sleep. Kalem has been a whinny little boy all day long today and yesterday. He was up all night last night screaming. He got mad last night because I was brushing his teeth. Curtis thinks that's why he was screaming all night because I traumatized him. He could be right. Ineed to sleep Tyce is awake to eat.

Lately I have been reading a lot of blogs and I notice the same things. Women are always talking about their wonderful husband and marriage and how challenging but rewarding motherhood is. Just so every one knows... I hate being married.... thats my problem, Marrage. Not being a mother, I love that and I think I am a good one. But I suck at being a wife.

Karate

Right now Carter is screaming because daddy took Wiley and Brayden to their first karate class. Of course Carter wanted to go but couldn't because Daddy is taking the class too and he cant watch Carter. Before Curtis left for class he said "Who's" and then spelled out G O I N G. I said "The B and the W" meaning Wiley and Brayden and I hear this "YES!!" In the back ground. So I asked Wiley " Why are you so excited?" He says "Because we are going with dad. " So I say "Why do you think that?" and he says "Because you said," "I did?" I asked "Yep!" he says "B for Brayden and W for Wiley." Should I be worried? Cuz it could be lucky guessing although Curtis stood over the balcony the other day and said " Angela" then spelled out I C E C R E A M and Wiley starts yelling "I want ice cream too"

Okay so today is Sunday and I never go any where except church on Sunday but today is general conference which means we stay home and watch it on TV and I just needed to get out of the house. Just for a moment. A drive around the block... that was all I wanted. So at 12pm I put lunch on the table and let Curtis know I was leaving the house without kids. So this is how it went. About give or take timing 12:05 Called Kids for lunch and had 3 prayers for the meal by Brayden, Wiley and Maya. 12:10 already getting Wiley and Brayden seconds, Taking Kalem off the table and put him in his seat 12:15 Tyce is hungry so have to nurse him 12:35 Done nursing and every one is done eating so I clean up the little ones so they don't look like orphan children. Clean up Lunch and tell children they can watch TV 12:45 Take Carter and Kalem up stairs to take a nap 12:50 Take Carter and Kalem downstairs to change two poopy diapers 12:55 Take Carter and kalem back up to take a nap 12:57 Put Kalem down can't find Carters passy 1:10pm found Carters passy and put him in bed 1:15 put Tyce down for a nap 1:17 Tell Curtis I am finally leaving and I get the keys 1:20 Brayden comes up stairs sees me with my shoes on and wants to go (All other awake children still watching TV) 1:22 Take Brayden downstairs to change his poopy diaper 1:27 Done with diaper about to go but other children start to yell in other room 1:28 Go to see what problem is Wiley pressed buttons of TV so I fixed it and but it back to show and sat Brayden down so he could watch TV and I could sneek off without him 1:35 Tyce startes crying upstairs 1:37 Change Tyces poopy diaper nurse him a little more again and put him back to sleep again 1:50 Tell Curtis I am leaving again this time for sure 1:52 Cant find my cell or purse 2pm Get Curtis cell and my extra ID to take just in case 2:02 Finally about to go but Brayden is up wanting to go again 2:05 put Braydens shoes on 2:10 Walk out back door with Brayden so other kids don't see us 2:11 Walk back in with Brayden change Braydens poopy diaper again while thinking "are you kidding me" 2:17 Walk out back door with Brayden to finally get out of house 2 hours later..... Next time I'm just taking all the kids

The boys played in the sprinklers today. As you can see by Carters face he wasn't too happy about it and he refused to put on his suit. Tyce was upstairs hanging out in bed. When I went to go check on him I was greeted by a great big smile. Of course when I tried to capture it with my oh so professional camera phone this is what I got...

Brayden

I know this is the first picture of my blog but I am going to start posting pictures... pictures just make a story so much better. So anyway Brayden comes in from outside and says "Mom I brought you some flower" (note the green stuff on my table) and yeah they where all my rose buds from my rose bushes...He was so proud!!! I tried to explain to him that if he leaves them on the bush they will be beautiful flowers with beautiful colors. He assured me though they where already beautiful flowers with beautiful colors as he pealed the green off the buds to show me there was red, pink and yellow underneath. Like I said he was so proud...

Ok so maybe I'm not a blogger like I thought I was. But I tried. I should at least write a little bit so here are highlights for today.... 1. I enrolled Curtis and Wiley in karate (Brayden is still too young he has to be 4) 2. Brayden told a CPS worker that I hit him today and I don't think she believed me when I tried to explain he has been a story teller lately. So I will be expecting an investigation some time soon 3. Carter turned two yesterday (I know that's a yesterday thing but hey I forgot to write yesterday 4. Wiley ate my 39.00 bottle of probiotics (they are chewable so I'm sure he thought they where candy) 5. Wiley also ate my candy bar stash of snickers, butterfingers and twixs 6.Almost forgot to order my bountiful baskets but just remembered right now:) and that's all I can really think of. The girls just walked in the door from a visit with their dad. Curtis is downstairs with all of the kids playing and I am "putting the baby to bed" but little does he know he fell asleep 15 mins ago so I will blog again tomorrow.

Time to go to bed...

My Day Today

7:30 Woke up got kids out of bed
8:00 Brittany arrived
8:15 Girls left for a visit
8:45 Carrie Licensing worker for foster care came over for an hour
11:30 Adoption worker for Kalem came over for an half an hour
11:45 Girls came back

Okay I'm done talking about my day. I thought it would be fun to write out every thing I did but I'm not even adding feeding and nursing and sweeping and mopping and dressing and bathing and brushing hair and teeth. Anyways I need more pictures. I tried yesterday to add a video. Didn't work out so well. And did you know the spot price for silver is at $37.oo right now. Sure do wish my parents bought me a $1000.00 worth when I was a kid and it was only at $1 an ounce. Today I got my essential oil shipment from young living:) Yes every one I am a distributor not and I know, I know who likes network marketing stuff? Not me I will tell you that. But some how I got suckered into it despite the fact I tried to tell my self I hate oils. And guess what? I love them. My husband has been walking around the house saying we stink all night. He says he might not be able to sleep in our room. I'm hoping that as time goes on he wont be able to smell them anymore. Wish me the best. There is this oil called thieves that they clam kills germs and you can't get sick when you us it. Well let me tell you if anyone would be good to test that claim out on it would be me. I have 5 little boys all under they age of four and they are all little germ factories running around. It's a wonder I'm even alive with the places there hands go. The other day I was making a fruit smoothie in our Vita-mix and Brayden our three year old wanted to help. So I told Brayden to go wash his hand and he proceeded to walk to the bathroom. 2 Mins later I turn around to find that he had loaded all of the cut up fruit into the Vita-mix. "Brayden" I said "I told you to wash your hands" "I did mom" he replied in that leave me alone and stop nagging I did what you said voice "Well" I asked "Why didn't I hear the sink water running?" Then he stops and with shock on his face and a soft little voice says "Oh I can't wash them in the toilet?" So you see now why I need Thief's. And that is just one story. Okay I am going to bed. I think I have blabbed enough.

Well its my second day and so far so good. But it is 10:13pm and I am tired so I am off to bed

Okay I think you all should know (before you decide to read my blog) that this is not the "life is perfect look at all my wonderful pictures that show my spotless house, model kids, and all the crafts, activities and baking I do all day long" blog....cuz that's not me. I never take pictures, my house is a mess, I hate baking, love crafts but never have time to do them and my kids looks like orphans half the time despite how hard i try to keep clean shirts on 5 little boys. But don't get me wrong I do like my life its just not the oh so wonderful one that every other bloggers life seems to be. Not that I'm jealous or anything.

I'm Back!!!

Guess what I'm a blogger now....