It's been a while

So I think it's about time I start writing in this thing again.  It's only been a year so I guess I shouldn't be too hard on my self.  Well maybe a little I've a year.  So where to begin?  An update.  Last time I wrote I had five boys....  Today I have 3 girls and 5 boys.  This year has been my year for girls.  Haylee Danelle Covington came into our home in March 2012 and was adopted as Sadie Victoria Teachout on July 5, 2012. She choice her name all herself.  She wanted the name Sariah as her fist name but since it is my adopted sisters name and her best friends name she said I said she had to pick a name all of her own and so she picked Sadie because it means princess and Victoria because it was her other best friends name....  Oh well! Sadie has blond hair and blue eyes and is my drama queen !  She is smaller than Brayden (whom just turned 5 a couple days ago on the 28th).   Her birthday is. November 28,2004 she is 8 years old.
Next there is our second daughter who came in June as Alyssia Alanna Mallette.  She was adopted on November 17, 2012 (National adoption day) as Avery Nicole Teachout.  Avery just because I liked it and she wanted to change her name because Sadie changed her name and Nicole after my sister Amber Nicole.  Avery has Brown hair and brown eyes and looks a lot like me.  I think she has split personality disorder whitch is not called something else.
And then there is Lux who was conceived in Jan 2012 and was born Oct  19, 2012 as Paisley Louann Teachout.  Between you and me I wish I would have named her Paisley Ruth but I wanted to name her Louann after Curtis aunt who has never had children and is so kind and nice.   I was excited to name her Louann until we told LouAnn we where  naming Paisley after her and she seemed like she could have cared less.  And I don't think I was miss readin her ether.  Oh and I changed her name from Lux cuz it's such a different name that I was afraid to name her that and she just didn't look like a Lux.  She didn't really look like a Paisley ether but I had a hard time naming that child!!!!!
Anyways now that I wrote all of that I am tired of writing so hopefully there will be another post soon and this one wont be my last for a year:).

So today as the boys were all playing in the living room I could smell something horrible! So I asked "who needs a diaper changed?" and Wiley replies "Probably Brayden or Carter or Kalem or Tyce." Yeah I'm thinking its time to potty train a few!

My girls are leaving tomorrow. I don't know what to feel. Today I took them to Amazing Jakes for their last day with us. Don't ask me why I thought spending $100 for them to run around playing games while I sat at a table eating would be good quality bonding time. Oh and Hi Amber since I know you are the only one who reads this.

I just want someone to talk to

I think that every mother must think her own children are the cutest in the world. I Find my self wanting to talk all the time about the silly little things they do all the time but I find no one really wants to hear about it. That's why I try to write about things in here so I don't have to tell everyone about it. But I have a hard time finding any time at all to sit down and write. Right now its 10:30 at night and I should be in bed. But on a more important note I don't want to talk about my kids anymore. I want to talk about being a foster parent. Sometimes I don't know what I am doing. I hate it. I don't like knowing if the kids are staying or going. I don't like my little ones getting hurt and learning about things they shouldn't know about. And I don't like the caseworkers and GALs and Therapists, and Bio family visits and transporters and licencing workers and attorneys and Court dates and CFTs and Placement meetings and all the other people and things you get with a foster child. Then I think about the fact that there are over 10,000 children in the foster system and most of them are in group homes. But I don't care anymore. I want to adopt and be done. I just can't help but feel like there are more children out there for me that are already born that are meant to be in my family. And I want them. I'm just not a patient person.

Birthday

It's my birthday today. Thank heavens for facebook friends because I actually felt very loved today getting all the birthday wishes on my wall. My next door neighbor brought over fresh bread and cake:) and the relief society presidency brought me over a card and bath salt that said you deserve a break. And I saw a movie with my dad and Curtis and then went out to eat with Curtis went to a nice park with all of the kids and ended up at my friend Meijas house talking about all her life storms. It was a pretty good day no complaints.

Caterpillars

Now I know you can't see them in the pictures but today the boys came in super excited because they found "Caterpillars" and Wiley kept saying "they are so cute mom!" Yeah they were maggots. Now I assure you we don't have maggots in our house, at least that is what I keep telling myself.

2:21 am

Its 2:21 am and why am I up do you ask? I don't know, that's a very good question because I am very tired. I wish that i had a portable computer because all day long I write in my head about what I want or need to say at that moment but by the time I get here its gone. I have no more need to express it and yet at the same time I wish I would have because its memories I would like to capture. Today I had an interview with one of the bishops councilors for a new temple recommend. I think the problem I have is that I want so bad to be perfect and I try so hard that sometimes I am unsure if I am really doing my best to do everything I can. I want to be honest in all my doings but am I really answering all the questions honestly because I over analyze things and I just want to make sure I am. I need to sleep its 2:29 now and it shouldn't take me 8 mins to write nothing.